Month 10

Ellie is 10 months old!!! Where is the time going?!? I'm so glad to say we are still going strong with breastfeeding. Happy Breastfeeding Week (or month!)!!

This may have been the hardest month of our life. We spent the entire time without Dada. Our family was definitely incomplete.

Ellie spent the first few hours at the beginning of the month on a crowded plane headed to Texas.( I'm so thankful there are still kind people in the world. I was offered help both with boarding and unloading with each destination). I also personally lugged around Ellie (about 21 lbs), a cooler of 90 oz of frozen breast milk, diaper bag, purse, and a loaded down back pack....all through the airport, by myself. 

Fun fact about our 9 hour overnight trip: Ellie slept maybe 1.5 hours. Maybe.

Did you say nightmare? 

I thought so.

 This girl is a social butterfly!! There were too many people to see and talk to. 

We have finally acclimated to Texas from Alaska, both to time and weather. Also, E now let's me out of her sight, and, gasp!, let others hold her as well. Such a relief.

Anywho, we aren't able to take the same pictures we normally do, since all of our stuff is packed, but I do have pictures. 

First time going swimming.

I'm guessing Ellie is roughly 22 pounds and getting taller by the day. She is finally saying "mama", "hi" and "dog". We have also taught her how to sign "more", which is much better than high pitched screaming. Her absolute favorite time is eating, followed by bath time. I think she purposely goes all out crazy eating so she can get in the bath tub!

She loves hearing songs and music, which makes her clap and bounce up and down. And her new BFF for life lights up her day. She loves spending time with her cousin, Brooklyn.

Until next month....

Month 9!

So I'm a little behind with posting the monthly re-cap...moving to Texas and all. 

Ellie is 20.6 pounds and eats anything we give her. If mom and dad eat it, it must be good enough for her too!

Ellie can crawl efficiently, pull up and stand (with assistance). She is finally saying ma-ma-ma; but on her own terms. If I ask her to say mama, she will look at me, smirk, and say dada. 

We are also still successfully breastfeeding; although I've hit the stage where I could seriously give up. Ellie has been cutting her top 4 teeth. 

Four! 

All at once! 

It's been fun in the house.

Anywho, she has decided it's fun to bite me while nursing. Which may be really fun for her...however, the feeling isn't mutual. 

Ellie is also really tall. I don't have exact measurements, but the leggings she is wearing in the picture above...size 18-24 months at Old Navy. 

Month 9 is also a bittersweet time for us as a family. June 2014 is the last month in Alaska for mom and Ellie.

Our luggage for the trip back home to Texas!

Mommy and Ellie on the plane...what a ride. 

I'll talk about our trip home in next month's blog! 

Miss Dean | Month 7 & 8

First off, I can't believe I'm so far behind in posting. Life has just been stuck on hyper-speed. Over the past two months, we have been trying to finish up our life here in Alaska and transition back home to Texas. Jerry received his VA percentages for medical retirement, and he gets to close the Army chapter of his life on July 24, 2014.

Whew. 

This is a big step for our family, but a huge milestone and accomplishment for Jerry. He has served nearly 19 years between the US Army and Air Force. I'm so thankful for everything he has sacrificed, and truly proud to be his wife.

On top of this wonderful news, I also found out I have been accepted into TWU for the Fall of 2014. I have been blessed with the opportunity to return to school and pursue my Master of Science in Nursing, and ultimately, become a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. (Eek!)

Now, back to the most important aspect of our life. As of now, Ellie has done a lot and changed so much! Most importantly, we have successfully had a breastfeeding relationship for EIGHT months. I remember wanting to give up after day three...then week two....and so forth. Breastfeeding is not easy at first, but it does get there. And is totally worth it. So don't give up! Ok, hopping off my little soap box.

Here she is at 7 months. She is: wearing size 9 months and up, loves to be a daredevil (hanging upside down to top the list), learning to clap and reach, rolling is her chosen method of transportation...and she thoroughly enjoys picking up little things and putting them in her mouth. 

Fast-forward one month.

At 8 months Ellie has developed her own style of crawling. It's a mix between army and bear crawling, and completely adorable. She's growing like crazy, wearing size 12 months and up. Her legs are super long! She loves to eat whatever momma and dada are eating, drinking out of cups, and watching Little Einstein's and Jeopardy (genius baby already!)

I seriously can't believe how quickly the time goes. It can be heartbreaking at times, but such an exhilarating ride too. 

Cliché alert. Being a mom is the best job I've ever had. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Am I utterly exhausted? Of course. Between juggling home life, a full-time job, breastfeeding/pumping, long distance family, and my sweet girl....there is simply not enough hours in the day. 

(And to think I'm going to throw graduate work on top of that...sheesh, I'm not sure what I'm thinking). 

Point is: I wouldn't change a thing. Ellie has been the greatest gift. 

My next post will showcase our 6 month milestone pictures of Ellie in Alaska. She was technically 7.5 months, but it was still too cold to do an outdoor session when she was 6 months old. 

Ellie's 1/2 Birthday!

Wow. I seriously can't believe my angel is already SIX months old! Growing like a weed, she weighs in at 17 lbs 14 oz and is 26.5 inches long. Her front bottom two teeth have made their debut and she loves gumming everything. She also eats anything in sight, including attempts at her bibs and socks. Favorite foods are: sweet potatoes, carrots, apples and bananas. But momma trumps all.

Six months of successful breastfeeding, quite a feat in itself.  

There is so much now she is able to do. She is sitting unassisted (but still likes to nose dive occasionally), saying da-da-da-da, and giggling all day and night. She has the sweetest personality! 

This is one of my favorite pictures. It was taken at her 6 mo check up with Cathy Stange, her pediatric nurse practitioner. Ellie loved her hair! Cathy not only has provided her care since birth, but is also one of my greatest role models and mentors. She has inspired me to continue my education to become a pediatric nurse practitioner as well. 

My Five Month Old

As much as it breaks my heart that my little baby is growing so much every day, it's also really exciting to see all of her newly discovered talents. This month, she found her feet....and boy, did she love her feet! Especially her toes.  Add to the list, Ellie is able to semi-successfully sit up on her own. Sometimes she does the lawn-chair fold, but each day she gets better. She loves bouncing in her bouncer and has also discovered her voice.  

The downside to finding her voice? Ellie LOVES to scream. Not upset screaming, just an excited-I'm-making-this-noise scream.It's cute...until it's an all day past-time.

Ellie also had her first Valentine's Day. We did nothing special, but I did have my own baby photo shoot. She giggled as I kissed her all over. Unfortunately, after I snapped this cute photo, she slid over on the chair and transferred the red lipstick onto the chair. 

I've yet to get it out.

My photogenic baby!

We finally had our first doctor visit that wasn't a part of her well child checkup. She battled a cold when she was about a month and a half, but other than that she's been perfectly healthy. However, for about two weeks, she started tugging on her ears. At first, I was afraid that she had an ear infection. She had no fever, but the continued pulling and sometimes crying made me somewhat paranoid. What if she had an infection and I was blowing it off? And it was affecting her hearing? Ha! So we took her in.

The NP reported her ears were perfectly fine. Just hairy...

She can thank her daddy later for that one.

My Favorite Four Month Old!

We've reached four months old. Big girl is 16 lbs 12 oz and 25 1/4 in long. Ellie has finally decided to share her sweet laughter, rolls back and forth, reaching and (somewhat) playing with her toys. We also decided to incorporate baby foods, due to Ellie watching our forks move from plate to mouth and the crazy amounts of drool she had.

First food introduced: a mashed banana. She spit it right back out, still had the tongue extrusion. So week by week, we would try. But instead of a banana, I bought organic applesauce. Now that, she loved! 

As her fourth month of life was coming to an end, my career of being a stay at home mom was also ending. This is possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Having a baby pales in comparison to having to leave baby with a stranger. Someone else doing all the things I'm perfectly capable of doing. 

However, we found a wonderful lady, who I will refer to as The Nanny. There was an instant "click" when we met her for coffee. I would love to be home with Miss E...but if I can't, The Nanny is more than capable in my book. Also, E has accepted her into the house, which is the most important factor.

On to the next month...

Three Months Down.

Three. Months. Old. 

I should be returning to work, but that's not as easy as it sounds. When I was sent home on light duty at 28 weeks pregnant, I was itching to go back to work. Now, the thought of being separated from Ellie was just overwhelming. I just couldn't do it. So, Jerry and I discussed the pros & cons of returning to work this early, and decided it was best to stay home. 

Ellie is approximately 15 pounds based on our home scale. She is starting to enjoy tummy time (as compared to the screaming fits and leg kicking she used to exhibit). She is starting to give big, toothless grins more often. Sleeping more through the night. Learning to sit up in our Bumbo. 

Three months of successful breastfeeding. What does that mean? It means I deserve the Bronze Boob award. Apparently, my next award is at six months and is silver. Regardless, these are made-up achievements. But after all of the struggle and sacrifice, a bronze award sounds pretty cool right now.

Oh, I also started babywearing. This may have been started last month, but I'm not sure. The K'Tan is super easy to use, and was great for around the house chores. We upgraded to the Ergo and loved it for grocery shopping! Ellie was obviously very comfortable...she was asleep within minutes and slept throughout the trip. 

Parenting is definitely a learn-as-you-go. Babies cry. A lot. Eventually you learn what each cry means. If after eating, clean diapering, etc. and Ellie was still upset, Dad could always do the trick.

This month, we got to meet Santa and open presents. Jerry and I were both grinches and did not set up a tree or hang lights. I did put up a few decorations, including stockings, but other than that...nada. Thankfully, Ellie doesn't know the difference and her next Christmas we will be home with family and it will be like she never missed anything. Here are our Christmas pictures. Santa was so excited he was able to hold her! 

Our Christmas dress that Lulu sent us! 

A true Alaskan Santa. Complete with the Fur Boots. 

It's hard being a little one. Cloth diapers and baby legs, the best around the house outfit. 

Two Month Victories

Two months old, and my has she changed! She is up 3 lbs 6.5 oz from birth, all from breastfeeding! Seriously, this is probably more of a mom accomplishment. She loves to eat, watch TV or look at bright lights, swinging in her swing...and most of all, mommy! 

To go on top of the breastfeeding accomplishment, Ellie finally learned to latch without using a nipple shield. Nipple shields are, for lack of better words, a pain in the butt. I had to clean them after every feeding, which was still every 1-2 hours. Then, when Ellie was hungry, it was always this scramble to find one that was close, or wash it quickly before she went into full-blown meltdown. Needless to say, the transition was heaven. No more nipple shields. I'm too nervous to throw them away though. Just in case. 

I would have to say, our biggest issue these first two months was definitely the never-ending diaper rash! She has had one documented since three days old. Pampers Sensitive caused a chemical burn. So we switched to Huggies Sensitive. She continued to have this nasty raw, blistery rash. I felt awful. We spent tons on diapers, creams, prescription ointments..I even went as far as to eliminate dairy from my diet to help; and that was probably the most difficult thing to do. Dairy is in everything. Finally, we gave in and tried this weird suggestion of cloth diapers. These helped tremendously! And they aren't as bad as everyone thinks. 1) Breastfed baby poop is water soluble, so it washes out easy peasy. 2) No blow outs (which Ellie is infamous for). 3) Money saver. PLUS 4) They have super cute prints.

Another not-so-fun issue: baby acne coupled with heat rash. My sweet girl looked awful. And apparently, this is normal. But no one warns you about it. Heat rash is very common, especially with breastfeeding. So there's your heads up. 

Unfortunately, living away from family, we miss all of the holidays. Our Thanksgiving was spent Facetiming with family (a blessing to have that technology) and individual pictures were taken of us holding Ellie. She was wearing an outfit that Lulu sent for her. 

Ellie and Daddy. Twins. 

And that was the gist of our first two months. Diaper rashes and baby acne. But beyond that, lots of loving and cuddles. I miss her being this tiny already.

Ellie Is One Month Old!

October 30th. One month down, a lifetime to go. As an avid Pinterest-er, I had all these ideas of how to do these cute monthly updates. But, it's not as easy as it looks. 

Looking back, my heart is overflowing with love. 

Breastfeeding. Wow. No wonder so many women give up in the first few days after delivery. It is supposed to be this easy, "natural" thing your body does. Well, it's not easy. It is natural, yes, but that doesn't make it feel any less awkward. Or painless for that matter. I seriously didn't understand why women would want a second, third, etc. baby after the trials of a first. Ellie ate for 45 min - 1 hr every two hours. So, I had an hour before I was strapped back down to be this 'milk cow'. (I truly felt like a cow, and that was all I was good for). Thankfully now, after a few months of successful breastfeeding with all of its ups and downs, I love the bond we have developed... and feel far from a milk cow! 

Ellie did all normal one-month old things: eating, sleeping and pooping. A LOT of pooping. I have never seen so many dirty diapers. It was quite comical. Because she was such an avid pooper, Jerry refused to change her diapers, for fear of having it touch his hand. I think he changed one diaper while she was itty-bitty. (He's changed 3 her whole life, so far). The first time he changed her, he didn't put it on tight enough and had poop down the front of him.

She was also really good with head control-from the get-go. Her favorite things were her soothie lamb, being rocked by daddy, and bright lights. She hated, hated, hated bath time and diaper changes. She pooped throughout bath-time, screaming her head off. Also, while changing her diaper, she would poop on you mid change, or right after you got a clean diaper under her.

As hard as this month was, I wouldn't change a thing. A day after her "month" birthday, was her first Halloween. So, Happy Halloween! 

Life With A Newborn

I want to start off by saying that having a baby is no walk in the park. (Anyone that tells you differently is lying). I am simply amazed that I was able to do what I did, and survive. It is empowering to know what you can do as a woman and as a mother. The beauty is, after all of that hard work, you have this sweet baby. And  just like that, you are overwhelmed with love and forget all of the horrendous stuff that happened. 

Ellie's first week of life, I had back-up. Lulu (otherwise known as my mom) was here. She helped me with sleeping at night, calming Ellie down when I just couldn't figure it out, making meals, etc. Seriously, she was a blessing. But, unfortunately, she had to leave...and my heart broke. She knew exactly what to do, yet I could barely get through the day. It does take a village to raise a child, and my village was leaving! 

So, back to reality.  Lulu is gone. I was overwhelmed. It was Jerry, Ellie and then whatever was left of my sanity. It's no joke that newborns are exhausting. They are. And that whole "sleep when they sleep".... right. Because then you still have to take care of yourself, make meals, keep the house clean, etc. 

On top of all that, no-one really tells you how hard it is to recover from having a baby. It's awful. It's gross. And then throw baby blues on top of that. I still can't believe we survived. 

We adjusted to this new lifestyle. It wasn't just "us" anymore. We couldn't just drop everything and go out. In our case, we couldn't just drop her off with the grandparents. We are essentially alone here in Alaska. As I'm writing this, we have yet to have a date night, and Ellie is almost 5 months old.

But with all the not-so-fun, crazy, sleepless days and nights....there's this beautiful side to being a parent. This perfect, resilient little person....is yours. And you learn a lot. Quickly. We've learned that no matter how much we prepared, how many books we read, or how many items we bought...nothing really mattered. Ellie decided what she liked and that was it. We bought a bathtub seat. She showers with us. Bassinet. She sleeps with us. Her nursery and all of it's glory. It's used as a room to change her diaper. That's it. You get the picture. 

Even though I may have felt like giving up, I'm so glad I didn't. Life means so much more now. A simple smile makes my whole day.

She's Here!

Jerry, mom and I hustled to the car. We had yet to do a 'practice run' and Jerry had never driven my car. Needless to say, I was in labor and irritated that he was driving so "slow".  There were words. And raised voices.

Thankfully, Providence Alaska Medical Center is 5.6 miles from our house. 

After we arrived, we checked in and I was taken to L&D triage. The nurse put the monitors on me and it didn't pick up any contractions. HOWEVER, I was feeling something. After about ten minutes, she finally checked me. To all of our surprise, I was dilated to 8 centimeters. EIGHT. Baby can come out at ten. She apologized she didn't check sooner and they swiftly took me to my delivery suite. 

I was terrified. I thought for sure being at 8 cm dilated, I would not get an epidural. I needed the epidural. Jerry was terrified and wasn't even holding my hand. (I still playfully hold that against him). I was doing everything I could not to cry. The anesthesiologist on call, Dr. Norman (who I had worked with while doing my fellowship in the O.R.) came in after about 30 minutes and wanted to discuss the epidural with me. Pros, cons, etc. I told him I didn't need to hear it and to give me the epidural. I think he was a little miffed that I blew the education off, but really. I knew what I wanted. And for goodness sake, I'm about to have a baby.

The on call OB from Alaska Women's Health came to visit me and check on things. She introduced herself, Dr. Heather Bane. (See where the Batman thing is funny now?) We went over my birth plan and expectations; and she told me when it was closer, she would come back. 

After I rested for about two hours, everything started to go pretty quickly. It was finally time. I quickly touched up my makeup, made sure our baggy of Texas soil was under the delivery table, so that Ellie would be born "above Texas ground", and made sure mom was ready to take pictures.

My water broke. Dr. Bane was called. Then, I pushed for maybe 10 minutes.

I'm going to do us all a favor and cut out all of the gory details that you prepare for but really aren't prepared for....

On September 30, 2013 at 2:23 am, our beautiful Ellison Dean Powell was born. She weighed 8 lbs 4 oz, was 20.5 inches long. All of the nurses gushed over how 'healthy' she was. Surprisingly, I did not cry... but I was absolutely head over heels for this little girl! 

Headed home. We had to use her last pair of socks as mittens, because she was scratching her face like crazy! I loved this outfit, even if it made her look like the Chiquita Banana lady. 

Honey, I Think It's Time!

In order to start documenting Ellie's life, I figured it best to start out with her birth story. 

Let's rewind two weeks before my due date.

I was checked by my Nurse Midwife, who told me I was already 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced. For those not so labor-savvy... baby was getting ready to make her debut! Of course, as a first time mom 4,000 miles from home, I panicked. I needed my momma-and I needed her now. Phone calls were made, flights were changed, and my mom flew up a week earlier than originally planned for. 

As soon as she arrived in Alaska, I felt I could finally relax. Now, baby could come whenever she pleased, still preferably sooner than later. Immediately, I started trying things at home to kickstart my body into labor. I walked. A LOT. I also bounced like crazy on an exercise ball, drank castor oil mixed with pineapple juice, ate eggplant parmesan and a few other unmentionables. I did all of the "at home" suggestions and thought for sure, if nothing happened by my next appointment, I would elect to be induced.

I showed up at my 39 week checkup, with the thought lingering in the back of my mind that I could very well become a mom that night. The midwife (and Ellie) had other plans, that in fact, I had not progressed at all.  This midwife refused to do an early induction. (Seriously, lady, I was miserable!) As she denied any help to me, I BAWLED in the exam room, right in front of her and her student. I felt terrible that we flew my mom up early, and even more so it was taking away time she would have with Ellie. I calmly explained this to her, yet she continued to refuse and told me to enjoy the time I had left. To just relax. Yea. Right.

Days went by. No baby. No imminent signs of labor. Nothing.

Finally, my due date was here: September, 29, 2013. I called L&D at about 4 a.m. because I was having a burning pain in my upper chest, but not a single contraction to report. (I never had any Braxton-Hicks contractions, so I wasn't really sure what to expect). L&D said if the burning continued, to come in. But, wouldn't you know, it disappeared. 

Once everyone else was up, we had a lazy day. Frankly, I was too tired to go walking. We watched the Dallas Cowboys game and proceeded to watch The Dark Knight Rises. Take note, this is the one where Bain is the villian, it plays an ironic role later. I ate spicy kimchi noodles, hoping this would induce labor.

The day continued, still nothing. 

For dinner, we made spicy chicken tacos. I made sure to eat jalepenos as well, really riding the spicy train. My dad called and anxiously asked if his grand-baby was here yet, in which I replied "no".

But, then something I started having a TERRIBLE , terrible pain. I looked at the clock, and continued to talk to dad, but within seven minutes, it was there again. It could've been a fluke, or all the spicy food, so I told him I would have to talk to him later; I really wasn't feeling well. So, I decided to jump in the shower, because I knew warm water would help me relax.

Panic mode began. I was not ready. Not ready for this pain. And then there it was again, this miserable pain that was reminding me I had no choice. I cried in the shower, mainly due to the physical pain, but also, I was in denial. I had been so ready for labor, whatever that meant. And here  it was, but I couldn't handle it. After deliberating in denial for a few minutes, I decided it was time to go to the hospital. And the urgency only made the trip worse. 

To be continued.

The photo is of Jerry and I at Evangelo's Restaurant in Wasilla, AK. We became parents two days later!