Two Month Victories

Two months old, and my has she changed! She is up 3 lbs 6.5 oz from birth, all from breastfeeding! Seriously, this is probably more of a mom accomplishment. She loves to eat, watch TV or look at bright lights, swinging in her swing...and most of all, mommy! 

To go on top of the breastfeeding accomplishment, Ellie finally learned to latch without using a nipple shield. Nipple shields are, for lack of better words, a pain in the butt. I had to clean them after every feeding, which was still every 1-2 hours. Then, when Ellie was hungry, it was always this scramble to find one that was close, or wash it quickly before she went into full-blown meltdown. Needless to say, the transition was heaven. No more nipple shields. I'm too nervous to throw them away though. Just in case. 

I would have to say, our biggest issue these first two months was definitely the never-ending diaper rash! She has had one documented since three days old. Pampers Sensitive caused a chemical burn. So we switched to Huggies Sensitive. She continued to have this nasty raw, blistery rash. I felt awful. We spent tons on diapers, creams, prescription ointments..I even went as far as to eliminate dairy from my diet to help; and that was probably the most difficult thing to do. Dairy is in everything. Finally, we gave in and tried this weird suggestion of cloth diapers. These helped tremendously! And they aren't as bad as everyone thinks. 1) Breastfed baby poop is water soluble, so it washes out easy peasy. 2) No blow outs (which Ellie is infamous for). 3) Money saver. PLUS 4) They have super cute prints.

Another not-so-fun issue: baby acne coupled with heat rash. My sweet girl looked awful. And apparently, this is normal. But no one warns you about it. Heat rash is very common, especially with breastfeeding. So there's your heads up. 

Unfortunately, living away from family, we miss all of the holidays. Our Thanksgiving was spent Facetiming with family (a blessing to have that technology) and individual pictures were taken of us holding Ellie. She was wearing an outfit that Lulu sent for her. 

Ellie and Daddy. Twins. 

And that was the gist of our first two months. Diaper rashes and baby acne. But beyond that, lots of loving and cuddles. I miss her being this tiny already.

Ellie Is One Month Old!

October 30th. One month down, a lifetime to go. As an avid Pinterest-er, I had all these ideas of how to do these cute monthly updates. But, it's not as easy as it looks. 

Looking back, my heart is overflowing with love. 

Breastfeeding. Wow. No wonder so many women give up in the first few days after delivery. It is supposed to be this easy, "natural" thing your body does. Well, it's not easy. It is natural, yes, but that doesn't make it feel any less awkward. Or painless for that matter. I seriously didn't understand why women would want a second, third, etc. baby after the trials of a first. Ellie ate for 45 min - 1 hr every two hours. So, I had an hour before I was strapped back down to be this 'milk cow'. (I truly felt like a cow, and that was all I was good for). Thankfully now, after a few months of successful breastfeeding with all of its ups and downs, I love the bond we have developed... and feel far from a milk cow! 

Ellie did all normal one-month old things: eating, sleeping and pooping. A LOT of pooping. I have never seen so many dirty diapers. It was quite comical. Because she was such an avid pooper, Jerry refused to change her diapers, for fear of having it touch his hand. I think he changed one diaper while she was itty-bitty. (He's changed 3 her whole life, so far). The first time he changed her, he didn't put it on tight enough and had poop down the front of him.

She was also really good with head control-from the get-go. Her favorite things were her soothie lamb, being rocked by daddy, and bright lights. She hated, hated, hated bath time and diaper changes. She pooped throughout bath-time, screaming her head off. Also, while changing her diaper, she would poop on you mid change, or right after you got a clean diaper under her.

As hard as this month was, I wouldn't change a thing. A day after her "month" birthday, was her first Halloween. So, Happy Halloween! 

Life With A Newborn

I want to start off by saying that having a baby is no walk in the park. (Anyone that tells you differently is lying). I am simply amazed that I was able to do what I did, and survive. It is empowering to know what you can do as a woman and as a mother. The beauty is, after all of that hard work, you have this sweet baby. And  just like that, you are overwhelmed with love and forget all of the horrendous stuff that happened. 

Ellie's first week of life, I had back-up. Lulu (otherwise known as my mom) was here. She helped me with sleeping at night, calming Ellie down when I just couldn't figure it out, making meals, etc. Seriously, she was a blessing. But, unfortunately, she had to leave...and my heart broke. She knew exactly what to do, yet I could barely get through the day. It does take a village to raise a child, and my village was leaving! 

So, back to reality.  Lulu is gone. I was overwhelmed. It was Jerry, Ellie and then whatever was left of my sanity. It's no joke that newborns are exhausting. They are. And that whole "sleep when they sleep".... right. Because then you still have to take care of yourself, make meals, keep the house clean, etc. 

On top of all that, no-one really tells you how hard it is to recover from having a baby. It's awful. It's gross. And then throw baby blues on top of that. I still can't believe we survived. 

We adjusted to this new lifestyle. It wasn't just "us" anymore. We couldn't just drop everything and go out. In our case, we couldn't just drop her off with the grandparents. We are essentially alone here in Alaska. As I'm writing this, we have yet to have a date night, and Ellie is almost 5 months old.

But with all the not-so-fun, crazy, sleepless days and nights....there's this beautiful side to being a parent. This perfect, resilient little person....is yours. And you learn a lot. Quickly. We've learned that no matter how much we prepared, how many books we read, or how many items we bought...nothing really mattered. Ellie decided what she liked and that was it. We bought a bathtub seat. She showers with us. Bassinet. She sleeps with us. Her nursery and all of it's glory. It's used as a room to change her diaper. That's it. You get the picture. 

Even though I may have felt like giving up, I'm so glad I didn't. Life means so much more now. A simple smile makes my whole day.

She's Here!

Jerry, mom and I hustled to the car. We had yet to do a 'practice run' and Jerry had never driven my car. Needless to say, I was in labor and irritated that he was driving so "slow".  There were words. And raised voices.

Thankfully, Providence Alaska Medical Center is 5.6 miles from our house. 

After we arrived, we checked in and I was taken to L&D triage. The nurse put the monitors on me and it didn't pick up any contractions. HOWEVER, I was feeling something. After about ten minutes, she finally checked me. To all of our surprise, I was dilated to 8 centimeters. EIGHT. Baby can come out at ten. She apologized she didn't check sooner and they swiftly took me to my delivery suite. 

I was terrified. I thought for sure being at 8 cm dilated, I would not get an epidural. I needed the epidural. Jerry was terrified and wasn't even holding my hand. (I still playfully hold that against him). I was doing everything I could not to cry. The anesthesiologist on call, Dr. Norman (who I had worked with while doing my fellowship in the O.R.) came in after about 30 minutes and wanted to discuss the epidural with me. Pros, cons, etc. I told him I didn't need to hear it and to give me the epidural. I think he was a little miffed that I blew the education off, but really. I knew what I wanted. And for goodness sake, I'm about to have a baby.

The on call OB from Alaska Women's Health came to visit me and check on things. She introduced herself, Dr. Heather Bane. (See where the Batman thing is funny now?) We went over my birth plan and expectations; and she told me when it was closer, she would come back. 

After I rested for about two hours, everything started to go pretty quickly. It was finally time. I quickly touched up my makeup, made sure our baggy of Texas soil was under the delivery table, so that Ellie would be born "above Texas ground", and made sure mom was ready to take pictures.

My water broke. Dr. Bane was called. Then, I pushed for maybe 10 minutes.

I'm going to do us all a favor and cut out all of the gory details that you prepare for but really aren't prepared for....

On September 30, 2013 at 2:23 am, our beautiful Ellison Dean Powell was born. She weighed 8 lbs 4 oz, was 20.5 inches long. All of the nurses gushed over how 'healthy' she was. Surprisingly, I did not cry... but I was absolutely head over heels for this little girl! 

Headed home. We had to use her last pair of socks as mittens, because she was scratching her face like crazy! I loved this outfit, even if it made her look like the Chiquita Banana lady. 

Honey, I Think It's Time!

In order to start documenting Ellie's life, I figured it best to start out with her birth story. 

Let's rewind two weeks before my due date.

I was checked by my Nurse Midwife, who told me I was already 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced. For those not so labor-savvy... baby was getting ready to make her debut! Of course, as a first time mom 4,000 miles from home, I panicked. I needed my momma-and I needed her now. Phone calls were made, flights were changed, and my mom flew up a week earlier than originally planned for. 

As soon as she arrived in Alaska, I felt I could finally relax. Now, baby could come whenever she pleased, still preferably sooner than later. Immediately, I started trying things at home to kickstart my body into labor. I walked. A LOT. I also bounced like crazy on an exercise ball, drank castor oil mixed with pineapple juice, ate eggplant parmesan and a few other unmentionables. I did all of the "at home" suggestions and thought for sure, if nothing happened by my next appointment, I would elect to be induced.

I showed up at my 39 week checkup, with the thought lingering in the back of my mind that I could very well become a mom that night. The midwife (and Ellie) had other plans, that in fact, I had not progressed at all.  This midwife refused to do an early induction. (Seriously, lady, I was miserable!) As she denied any help to me, I BAWLED in the exam room, right in front of her and her student. I felt terrible that we flew my mom up early, and even more so it was taking away time she would have with Ellie. I calmly explained this to her, yet she continued to refuse and told me to enjoy the time I had left. To just relax. Yea. Right.

Days went by. No baby. No imminent signs of labor. Nothing.

Finally, my due date was here: September, 29, 2013. I called L&D at about 4 a.m. because I was having a burning pain in my upper chest, but not a single contraction to report. (I never had any Braxton-Hicks contractions, so I wasn't really sure what to expect). L&D said if the burning continued, to come in. But, wouldn't you know, it disappeared. 

Once everyone else was up, we had a lazy day. Frankly, I was too tired to go walking. We watched the Dallas Cowboys game and proceeded to watch The Dark Knight Rises. Take note, this is the one where Bain is the villian, it plays an ironic role later. I ate spicy kimchi noodles, hoping this would induce labor.

The day continued, still nothing. 

For dinner, we made spicy chicken tacos. I made sure to eat jalepenos as well, really riding the spicy train. My dad called and anxiously asked if his grand-baby was here yet, in which I replied "no".

But, then something I started having a TERRIBLE , terrible pain. I looked at the clock, and continued to talk to dad, but within seven minutes, it was there again. It could've been a fluke, or all the spicy food, so I told him I would have to talk to him later; I really wasn't feeling well. So, I decided to jump in the shower, because I knew warm water would help me relax.

Panic mode began. I was not ready. Not ready for this pain. And then there it was again, this miserable pain that was reminding me I had no choice. I cried in the shower, mainly due to the physical pain, but also, I was in denial. I had been so ready for labor, whatever that meant. And here  it was, but I couldn't handle it. After deliberating in denial for a few minutes, I decided it was time to go to the hospital. And the urgency only made the trip worse. 

To be continued.

The photo is of Jerry and I at Evangelo's Restaurant in Wasilla, AK. We became parents two days later!